Stupid Uncle Grandpa
This is the story of Stupid Uncle Grandpa. One day, Uncle Grandpa was driving around in his RV, and he was in his bathroom brushing his teeth, and then, Uncle Grandpa got a message. Uncle Grandpa read the message and this is what it said. "Dear Uncle Grandpa, you have to visit a kid today. His name is Bobby. He lives in Townsville. From, Dr. Rabbit" Uncle Grandpa said "I will visit Bobby because my job as Uncle Grandpa is to visit every kid in the world when I need to, or else I will get my perfect title ruined." Bobby lived on the other side of the world so it wouldbe hard for Uncle Grandpa to get there, but he had his trusty RV, so he would be able to do it. Just then, his RV broke down and he was stuck in the middle of the road. Uncle Grandpa got out of the RV to see what happened. He looked under there and saw that his gas tank spilled all over the ground. Uncle Grandpa got out a wrench and a screwdriver and a saw and tried to fix it, but he could'nt do it. Then, some other people on the road were behind him and they were all honking their horns and yelling at him telling him to get going. Uncle Grandpa, being the happiest man in the whole world told them to just wait and to be patient, but after 3 hours of waiting, they started throwing cans at him and forced him to go. So then, Uncle Grandpa had to pull the RV with his bare hands for 100,000 miles to get to the next gas station it took him half an hour to do that because he was painstakingly forcing himself to go so fast, just to arrive at Bobby's house in time. He was at the gas station and the gas man told him that they were all out of gas and they could not get him any, but they did say that they could at least fix his car. It took them half an hour to fix it and when they fixed it, they blew it up for no good reason. Uncle Grandpa was still trying to force himself to stay happy so he happily walked away with a great big fat grin that was just barely holding him away from a primitive rage. Uncle Grandpa decided to just walk all the way around the world so he did. He walked for 3 hours and didn't even stops for food or water. Then, he got stuck beind a stupid old man who was carrying some papers. The old man dropped one of his papers and turned around and made a groucy, angry face and said "Pick it up" so Uncle Grandpa picked it up and carried it. Then, the old man dropped another piece of paper and turned around and made a wrinkly grouncyh angry evil face and said "Pick it up." and so he did that too. This went on like this for 2 hours Uncle Grandpa was making some angered faces as the old man kept on dropping papers and making him pick them up. Then, Uncle Grandpa was carrying all of the papers and was making some angry, angry, angry, angry, angry furious faces. Then, there was an old man sitting on his lawn and he saw Uncle Grandpa and said "Those are some very pretty faces your making over there." Then, Uncle Grandpa lugged the papers into the old man's house and put them down on the table. Uncle Grandpa plopped on the could in exhaustion. "Don't sit down and relax you stupid idiot" said the old man, "You still have to help me". Uncle Grandpa got up and said "I ALREADY DID HELP YOU!" Then the old man said "Yeah, but now you've gotta help me with something else. You are Uncle Grandpa, the happiest and nicest man in the whole wide world and your reputation would be DESTROYED it you don't help me." Uncle Grandpa sihed and said "What do you want?" The old man said "I wanna draw a picture of a cat. So help me." Uncle Grandpa looked at him in great shock. He had to help him draw a picture of a cat. Being the nicest and most happiest man in the whole entire world, Uncle Grandpa was forced to do so. Uncle Grandpa sat there for 6 hours teaching the old man how to draw a cat. Then, he finally finished and the old man had drawn a picture of a pink cat named Princess Pretty Kitty. Then, Uncle Grandpa finally left. The day was already halfway done and Uncle Grandpa wasn't even halfway around thw world yet and he needed to get to Bobby's house before the day was done. He needed something to spped up, but what? Uncle Grandpa got on the side of the rode and started to hitch hike to get a ride. He got the ride of a redneck in an eighteen wheeler. Then, he drove him to a bar. Uncle Grandpa said "Uh, this isn't the other side of the world." The redneck said "Ah know that you duderhead. I just gottago to du bathroom first." The redneck went inside and went to he bathroom, Uncle Grandpa was waiting for him for 5 hours, then he finally lost his patience and he went inside. There, the redneck was already passed out and on the ground drunk. "YOU SAID YOU JUST NEEDED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM AND GUESS WHAT? YOU DRUNK!!!" Then, he got into a bar fight with the other guys that lasted for an hour. Uncle Grandpa was thrown out in the trash can behind the bar. He was finally out of the bar and he walked to go to Bobby's house, on his way there, he stopped to go take a bathroom break and unfortunately, he went into the same bar as before and got beat up again and he wasted another hour. Uncle Grandpa started walking 5 miles and he still had 800,000,000 to go and he was already about to die. Then, he dropped to the ground. Then, he was carried under a highway by a bunch of homeless people. Then, we woke up and he bacame one of them. He told them where he needed to go and they said there was a train that could take him there. They got onto the train and it took them 1 hour to do all of that stuff. They were there, and after 3 hours, Uncle Grandpa realized that the train was going the wrong way!!! Then, it turned out it was all a trap because the homeless people were really demons in disquise who planned on eating and killing him. Then, they opened a portal to the underworld and Uncle Grandpa jumped in. They chased after him and Uncle Grandpa was falling while they started flying down after him. Finally, he landed at the bottom and there was a great dangerous chase escape to get out. Uncle Grandpa has finally made it out of a portal that brought him to the other side of the world in Townsville. The clogged the portal and the demons were trapped inside. Uncle Grandpa still had 2 minutes to get to Bobby's house, so he painfully walked all the way there and he FINALLY made it on the very last split second of the day. Bobby and his family were so angry at him for being late that they beat him up, put him in a bag and threw him backwards and he had to go through all of that trouble again. Uncle Grandpa was no longer the happiest man in the world, but the angriest man in the world. The end. [[Category:Funny Stories]